This morning, another 10 hour day at the cafe looming, my biz partner and I headed to a nearby cafe for breakfast. There is nothing I like more than having my food served to me. It is such a treat and I try my hardest to sympathise with errors as getting it wrong in the food business is unpleasant and unfortunate at best and suicide at worst.
Before I go on, I’ve decided not to embarrass this place. I know that seeing a bad review must be utterly galling and gut wrenching and on this occasion I was so depressed that I just couldn’t bring myself to name and shame. I don’t know why, I guess trading standards might have had something to say and I’m in that mood where I just want to shout about great places to eat.
Anyway, in no particular order, here are the glaringly obvious errors that MUST be avoided and make me have conniptions.
1) Putting the cheapest commercial gunk into a Heinz ketchup bottle. The above bright red, hideous concoction wasn’t fit for human consumption and I would think Heinz and trading standards may have have had a thing or two to say about this.
2) Dirty and cracked cups. Honest to goodness, words fail me. Sloppy and unhygienic. Unforgivable.
3) Cheap ingredients. You can’t disguise these in a breakfast. Stop being savagely mean and buy decent sausages, bacon and tomatoes that don’t taste of water.
4) Not asking how you want your eggs done. OK so it was partly my pal’s fault for not telling them how she wanted her eggs but it is up to the establishment to ensure the customer is getting what they want. She most certainly didn’t ask for her eggs to be cremated.
5) A side salad is NOT a few leaves with some sweet corn thrown in. Unimaginative, sloppy, unprofessional and just WRONG.
6) If you don’t want to work in the food business, take your miserable face elsewhere. Part of the pleasure of eating out is having great service with a smile on your face. Customers love it and remember genuine pride in one’s work.
Here endeth the sermon. Yours, utterly dumbfounded.